Self-introduction email
Subject: Self-introduction email
Dear Professor Brad,
I hope the week is going great so far. My name is Wei WenQiang, I am
a year one student pursuing a degree in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering
(Land) at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). I graduated from
Singapore Polytechnic (SP) in 2020 with a Diploma in Aerospace Electronics
Engineering. I was born in China, and I am a foreign student. Not only that, I
have been in Singapore for almost 17 years.
During my polytechnic internship at SATS Ltd, I was a team member
working on the "Anti- Collision Tractor" project. Whereby, we
designed and created a canopy for electric tractors servicing inside the
airport using thermoplastic polymer (HDPE) through injection molding.
Throughout the project, it inspired me to choose SIE(Land); the acquisition of
deep knowledge comprising various fundamental engineering disciplines, such as
railway, mechanical, electrical, and electronic engineering would allow me to
achieve excellence in the ever-changing world of the land transport industry.
Despite the poor economy due to the pandemic of Covid-19, I was fortunate to have the chance to work in Shopee six months after I
graduated. From
there, I witnessed first-hand how air, land, sea, and logistical engineering
could be integrated to ensure the smooth deliveries of cargoes and goods from
overseas to different locations in Singapore. This experience further convinced
me that a more comprehensive understanding of the various transportation
infrastructures, like the engineering technologies, mechanics, networks,
instrumentation and their maintenance would ease my dream of becoming a professional engineer in transport-related industries in an increasingly
interconnected region.
In terms of communication, I am an active listener. Being a good listener
actually makes me a better speaker. Speaking requires me to know and
understand my audience before I can pass my message clearly across. My weakness in
communication is that I tend to feel nervous whenever I speak in front of a large
crowd. For example, when I work at Shopee, I need to give a task briefing to
workers across different stations, which sums up to about 40 to 50 people.
There are times when I speak too fast, and I could feel that my message was not
clearly conveyed.
One of my goals is to be an effective communicator. Other than this, I hope I
can learn how to be more influential in my writing. I feel that being more
persuasive in writing would be a fundamental skill for students when it comes
to applying for internships or jobs in the future.
I look forward to your class, as I hope I could learn more about the importance of effective communication under your tutelage.
Best regards,
Wei WenQiang
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Wen Qiang,
ReplyDeleteThis letter is very engaging to me, keeping me wanting to know more about your part-time job. I feel at the part where you gave example maybe could be written as " I was tasked to brief 40 - 50 workers across different stations." I feel this can help to make that sentence look less lengthy. Overall the letter is smooth to read. Thanks!
Your sincerely
Zhen Xuan
Hi Zhen Xuan,
DeleteThank you for your constructive suggestion. I will note down the suggestions that you have given and make relevant amendments. Thank you!
Cheers,
WenQiang
Dear Wen Qiang,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your self-induction letter. I can see that we do have some similarities. I believe we will talk more in class because we both are international students and we can help each other.
Look forward to work with you in class.
Best regards,
FAN QIANZI
Hi Qian Zi,
DeleteThank you for reading the letter. I look forward to work with you too.
Cheers,
WenQiang
Hi Wen Qiang,
ReplyDeleteThe introduction letter looks great. I like how you provided evidences to support your stance.
However, there is a spelling error 4th paragraph with "Shopee" being spelt as "Shoppe". It would also be great if you can define what SIE meant in the first paragraph instead of using the acronym directly in paragraph 2 as it might cause some confusion.
Overall it is a wonderful letter. I always wondered what is it like working in such a big company like Shopee and I thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you and have a good day ahead!
Best regards,
Kathleen
Hi Kathleen,
DeleteThank you for pointing out on the sentences that requires amendments. I will look into it and make the necessary changes.
Cheers,
WenQiang
Dear Wen Qiang,
ReplyDeleteI had fun reading your self-introduction letter. Through reading your letter, I get to know more about you and your experience.
The letter is nicely planned out, which make it clear and engaging to the reader. Another good point is that when you write about your weakness in communication, you give examples and mistakes.
Thank you for sharing with us your experience.
Best regards,
Nur Farhanah
Hi Farhanah,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I look forward to work with you in the future.
Cheers,
WenQiang
Dear Wen Qiang,
ReplyDeleteThis is a well structured, detailed and fairly fluent letter. You’ve covered the parameters of the assignment and demonstrated quite a bit about what makes you who you are. We readers learn, for example, that you have lived in Singapore as a foreign student, which may give you a special perspective. You also explain how you had a very important internship opportunity at Shopee. I like the way you have tied your communication needs to the presentation experience you had there. It's also especially impressive that you are able to connect the internship learning with your gaining a "comprehensive understanding of the various transportation infrastructures."
In the letter, you also do a good job explaining your comm skills strength, being a good listener, and then a perceived weakness, not being a complete enough speaker, which ultimately ties in with your module goals. In moving toward the goals, you should take the next few Zoom lessons as an opportunity to share more openly and more assertively with the class.
In terms of language use, there are a few areas in this post that you need to take note of:
1. sentence structure
-- My name is Wei WenQiang, I am a year one student pursuing a degree in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land) at the Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). > comma splice & overuse of caps
-- During my polytechnic internship at SATS Ltd, I was a team member working on the "Anti- Collision Tractor" project. Whereby, we designed and created a canopy for electric tractors servicing inside the airport using thermoplastic polymer (HDPE) through injection molding. > ?
-- Throughout the project, it inspired me to choose SIE(Land); > The project inspired me to choose SIE(Land);
2. verb tense
-- For example, when I work at Shopee, I need to give a task briefing to workers across different stations, which sums up to about 40 to 50 people. > (past or present) ?
-- There are times when I speak too fast, and I could feel that my message was not clearly conveyed. > (past or present) ?
Do let me know if you have any questions about these comments.
Best wishes,
Brad